No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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