She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
