I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
