we have officially lost it.
id be glad to
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
