There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
