she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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