How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
