he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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