I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
