just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
