People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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