Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
