As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
