About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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