If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
