Non-Jews are for practice
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
