He asked me if I "almost moaned"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He did a backflip because drugs
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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