Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
