Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Tx498 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"

Fav 18 1395 4577
share tweet
(502): View more from Kentucky

I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.

Fav 30 5531 1828
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

Fav 27 2360 6114
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.

Fav 3 3490 965
share tweet
(906): View more from Michigan

Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies

Fav 12 4441 1355
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name

Fav 3 3552 1268
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?

Fav 35 1598 3648
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(903): View more from Texas

I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.

Fav 3 1252 592
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.

Fav 0 61 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT