I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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