i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
