Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
