I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
