benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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