i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize