I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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