this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
