shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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