I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
