guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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