Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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