ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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