Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I looked at my own cervix.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
