Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
