Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
