I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
