But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
