I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
