I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
