I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You have to summon your inner elephant
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
