I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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