I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize