i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
