I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude i'm inner monologue high
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
