apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
