Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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