I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
