the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
