you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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