I want to stick my p in your. b.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
