Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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