i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
operation harelip BJ is a go
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
