nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
