If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
