; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
